I feel pretty

So anyone that knows me knows I am very self-righteous, I have strong views and am head strong about minding them. I don't feel woman should have to spend hours and hundreds of dollars on their makeup and their hair to look just right. I was one of those women who would not allow anyone to see her before I had done all my little rituals to feel pretty way back when, but for years I haven’t worn make up except on special occasions, and well I donate my hair I don’t destroy it. I have once dyed it, and once permed it, both times where a huge regret and shortly after my hair looked the exact way it always has to thick and straight to do anything with it. I feel good that I still receive complements without having to pretend to be something I am not. Those complements are fewer and fewer though since I have gained so much weight and my confidence has been shredded along with it. I went from being naturally pretty to being frumpy, the naturally pretty thing goes right out the door if you’re overweight. So I have started eating right and exercising, I have seen and felt the results. I have lost weight, as well as inches. My clothes fit better and I feel good about it. Of course it isn’t one of those things everyone else notices yet and that is frustrating. I haven't heard compliments or received random phone numbers in a while (okay maybe a few times but not as often). So I want to feel beautiful again I started doing my hair and makeup every day like I use to. In the last three days I have been told I should be on cover girl, that I have a beautiful smile that made his day, been given 4 random numbers, winked at, the whole nine yards. Okay so yeah women shouldn't have to pull out little tricks and hide their natural look, and that sucks but let’s face it the world we live in is a vain one, and apparently so am I. I feel pretty again, my self-confidence doesn't feel completely intact but much better. I have confidence that my future to a healthier happier me is attainable. So what if I take a few extra minutes to throw on some eye shadow and blow dry my hair every morning now, like the late great Natalie Wood said "I feel pretty".

A fresh start

So on December 26, 2011 I decided to start a new diet. Like most of us every year on new years I vow to lose weight. After maybe 4 work outs and a few weeks of salads I lose anywhere from 5 to 10 lbs and by my birthday mid February I am binge eating to make up for my dieting. Nice work, huh? This year is different, this year it is not a new years resolution (I started a few days early so I can keep it that way mentally). This year I have made a promise to myself and my daughter. I will no longer be unhealthy. I will be a positive role model for my little girl. I will teach her how awesome it is to feel healthy and the happiness that is there when you have pride in yourself. She will learn the way your body and mind feel when you are full of good for you foods not convenient and "good tasting" foods, and that healthy foods taste good too. You see for me this is not a weight loss venture, this is no simple diet plan; this is a promise to make better choices, to feel good about me inside and out, to show my daughter a healthy lifestyle, to be around as long as I can in her life. This is a necessary change to a new me. This will be my last unhealthy year, my fresh start to a healthier me.